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Taking a backseat in your own life - how can the starring role of your own life be unavailable

Episode 3 of my Alcohol analysis series

What if life could have more colour, more energy, more purpose? What if removing one thing from you life could be the rocket fuel you need to do life differently?

Taking a back seat in your life

Drinking to excess and the recovery period from each session can have such a physical and mental impact that it can leave you with no choice but to take a bit part in your own life as the negative impact is so damaging it eats into huge chunks of your available time and can play havoc with your mind . You still have your commitments: work, children, life admin etc and you might manage these essential elements but the impact of alcohol means you won't have capacity for much more so anything else goes out the window.

Living on autopilot

Ticking all the boxes, not upsetting anyone but not setting the world alight. It is just so easy to go with the flow. Our minds have less thinking to do when we go through the same motions we always have. But what if you actually do stop and think?

Pause and reflect

  • If you look upon a glass of wine as a rescue mission - to pull you out of a negative mood

  • If you drink to forget

  • If you drink to cope with a life change, shock, trauma

  • If you drink to overcome depressive feelings

  • If your overall mood after drinking is one of regret, shame, anxiety, physical exhaustion

  • If you can't have "just one"

  • If you seek more energy

  • If you would love a life shakeup

  • If your life feels like it has diminished to enable you to function and keep up the drink

If any one of these points resonates with you then I invite you to experiment with the alcohol free adventure.

What does it involve

An acknowledgment that there is an alternative to regular drinking and an honest conversation with yourself where you.....

  1. Question the effects alcohol has on you

  2. Are open to reducing your intake

  3. Are open to another path

The potential gains

  • Reduced anxiety

  • Improved sleep

  • No brain fog

  • No lost hours

  • Increased confidence - believe me

  • Improved health

  • Improved relationships

  • Improved outlook on life

  • Reduced depressive feelings

  • Improved work concentration

  • Improved work performance

  • No wasted "recovery" time

  • More observant

  • More money

  • More grateful - this is a personal one but I am so much more grateful as I am so much more present in my life

What you might lose

The instant relax. Alcohol increases the inhibitory neurotransmitters in the brain which gives you the relaxed feeling - and if you continued to only receive more of that feeling then I wouldn't be writing this blog. I loved that initial relaxed feeling. I just wish it hadn't taken me so many years to acknowledge the negative side effects that came with it. You can still get to that relaxed feeling but you might just have to work at it in those early days. Alcohol is a chemical stimulant. Natural dopamine just takes longer to kick in and might take a while to develop.

Reclaiming the lead role

This is how it genuinely felt. Removing the alcohol has

  1. Removed the blinkers

  2. Given me bucket loads of confidence

  3. Given me heaps more time and energy

These three things combined have literally lit fire under me and changed my whole life! When you don't follow the dominant path and start to question things then your brain becomes flexible in other ways. The combined effect of the above three have led me to study again, to find regular running, to try yoga, early morning routines, to successfully build up a business, to become a coach, to trek two British mountains, to appreciate my family, my friendships, to talk more, to listen intently, to volunteer for two charities. I feel 100 times more fulfilled, 100 times more energised and so much more empowered. And all it took was one change!


Interested in exploring your relationship with alcohol?

My mission is to normalise the conversation around alcohol. It doesn't have to be awkward as this is just another life change. A hugely positive life change. Don't overthink it.

I offer an online program and 1:1 coaching program plus one off sessions so please get in touch if this is something that interests you. Please click on the links to my

Or if 1:1 coaching appeals more to you I run a

Other services


Blog posts

Blogposts in the energy series

Blog posts in the alcohol series


Suggested readings

From podcasts to books to Ted talks there is a lot out there. Email me for my personal resources list


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